I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose
There is no Love in your violence.
Bindu
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce
Freedom is the right to do whatever the laws permit" ~ Charles Montesquieu
Dont drink to drown your sorrows. Sorrows know how to swim
The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do." -- Howard, age 8
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
-- John Alexander Thom
If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
-- Rita Rudner
I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
-- Gwyneth Paltrow
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin
My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, then forget it." (Steven Wright)
etc